scaredPosted on 2009.06.03 at 12:27
Current Location: my parents living room
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: the giggling and babbling of a toddler
So I am off to the doctors soon...
Anxiety kicking in, pretty strong too.
You may wonder what on earth I'm babbling about. Thing is I had a really crumby doctor up until last month. For a year I had been explaining to my doctor that I was bleeding excessively suddenly for no reason, no change in my diet, love life, exercise or anything. So what does my doctor say "oh you must be pregnant" and I explain to her that that is not possible, she does apregnancy test it comes back negitive and she goes "you're not pregnant" and would leave it at that. this is how ALL my doctors appointments went every month for a year. During which the bleeding just continued to increase. Eventually I gave in and went to a hospital up in the nearest country town (where they actually DO something) and they did an ultrasound and they found an I.U.D. Now to explain why I am telling you they "found" an I.U.D, I had managed to get pregnant with an I.U.D and had a miscarriage. The idiot doctor from above, said she couldn't see my I.U.D so I must have lost it, but refused to send me for an ultra sound to confirm her thoughts. Anyways my doctor did a pap test that came back adnormal, which it had been doing on and off since I had my daughter so I went to the specialist, yet again. Well I called my doctor later and asked "how did the biopsy results come back.". She tells me they came back perfectly normal, this was in fall 2008, so in may 2009 I get a new doctor, thank the god and goddess, and she goes through my file with me. There on the results page from my biospy HIGHLIGHTED it says I have a precancerous legion!!!!! today is the soonest the specialist could see me. I'm mostly scared I may never have any more kids, which is one of the most important things in the world to me.
Lets hope it's still pre-cancerous, so I can still ahev at least one more child (hopefully a boy) or better yet two more, another girl and a boy.